month forty-six

Dear June,
I am to say a little bit behind on these posts, but I like to tell myself that I am just purely enjoying your company rather than documenting it. I promise to be better. The summer came to a close and your tan skin and streaky blonde hair settled into fall. I finally had to box up all of your shorts and tank tops just so you would stop trying to wear them everywhere. The concept of warm clothes and cold weather is a difficult one for you.
This month Kevin and I left you for a week to bask in the sunshine and you stayed home to play with Trevor. We spoke on a daily basis and the conversations were a highlight. In fact I wrote them on my boarding pass so I would remember how much you make me smile. One went like this:
Me: "JUNE! How are you?"
Stella: "Pretty good. Are you at the ocean?"
Me: " I am! We went swimming in the ocean looking for fishes today, we didn't see any though"
Stella: "MOM. You have to be so careful in the ocean, because if Ursula gets you she will steal your voice and then I won't be able to talk to you anymore. That would make me sad, and Ursula has really long arms, so please be careful"
Me: "(stifling laughter) I promise to be careful and watch out for Ursula....

You apparently have been watching The Little Mermaid and were as serious has a hurricane about Ursula. You were certain she would come and get us and that we wouldn't have a voice anymore to talk to you. We arrived home with a conch shell that "Ariel" gave to us to deliver to you. You slept with it for several nights until you decided that it wasn't the best snuggling partner.

You started school this month, and my oh my what a difference. What a change in my little 3 year old it has made. You love it! You were so nervous on the first day. You wanted your hair just perfect and were so scared that you weren't going to know all the things that you thought you needed to know. We had to sing the alphabet song to help you remember your letters, and we drew them out so you were certain you knew which ones were which. When you ran in the door to school and said good bye you never looked back, you never hesitated a moment over what you were doing there. I think you realized then that you were more nervous about making friends than knowing the curriculum. You know the curriculum.  June, you have this sweet disposition in situations like your new class, it reminds me of Uncle Hunter. The Hunter we know is loud and talkative, at times unbelievable confident in himself. But as I see him in situations where that isn't appropriate, he is humble and the confidence is underlying. You are like that June. You know your stuff; you are smart and beautiful and you know it. That terrifies me, it's a deadly combination. But in places outside of you comfort zone, you are sweet, quiet, and timid. You find your place inline and then settle in. Watching your interactions with other kids in class and at church always amazes me as a parent. Seeing you socialize and your personality emanate mine, scares me yet warms my soul.

Kevin decided that you needed to see Mary Poppins in person this month. It was a little spontaneous for him, he bought the tickets a week in advance. You didn't really know what to expect. But when you got there and saw Mary Poppins singing on the stage the look of awe was priceless. The look of amazement is whey we take you to new things, to watch for that. You were so grown up, the way you acted at the restaurant before hand and as we made our way to the front row you were as good as anyone could have hope for. Even when I sent you into the Men's room with Kevin to go potty you just smiled and said OK. In the past, things that you know are not normal illicit an argument. Not that day. You just smiled and tried to absorb all that was around you. I hope that you always look for new things, soaking them all in and that your passion for it all stays with you as you grow. Watching you have new experiences is like watching a sparkler ignite on the fourth of July, you gravitate towards it.

June, this month I have been so thrilled to be your mother. Being there as you cross milestones off your list and watching you do them with ease makes me so proud. I sneak in at night and watch you sleep and it amazes me that you are nearly four years old now, not my newborn with the smashed face. Or the toddler who bounced around with blond curls and blue eyes. You are my little girl now.
I love you so much.
love love
Mom