Change

The restlessness comes to soon sometimes, but my dad is right, it powers change. And we are ready for change around here. We are expecting a little one this fall and couldn't be more excited. I'm excited for this baby, excited in ways I never was with the girls. Kevin is over the moon about the new arrival, and wanting to know exactly what he can do to take care of me and everything there is to know about pregnancy. It's a new adventure for him, one he is more prepared for than he thinks.
But now there is a growing baby inside my body, and it's doing it's very best to take over. Just like the babies before. I'm not going to let it, but sometimes I want to. (Dramatic right? Let's be honest, I am the dramatic one)
Can you believe that I am going to do this again? Have a baby!? That means I will have 3 of them. Crazy.  It is a very good thing that Ruby is exactly what I need right now (Like always, that child is always exactly what I need) She climbs into bed with me and snuggles, a lot. She lays her head on my chest and tells me about how the chicken bit her finger for the 7 millionth time. As I stroke her hair and she looks up at me it's the same look she gave me as we snuggled in the hospital. That look of "You know it will be OK, because I am here" She is cute and she tried to kill me as well. I'm trying to remember that. That she didn't kill me, she made me so much stronger. And it ended. The pukes do end and we are lucky that they don't last the entire time, just the first 4 months. Could be worse right?
I have Kevin now, who is constantly doting on my every possible need, thought or want. Except the one where I want to be left alone in the fetal position rocking back and forth. He wants to fix it and I think if he had known really how hard I would take to being pregnant he wouldn't have voted yes for a new baby. But it will get better and I keep telling him that. It helped that we heard the heart beat around week 6 and it was real. He heard the swooshing. He got choked up and kissed my forehead. I nearly peed my pants and cried a little as well. I can't wait for this little one to kick and squirm hard enough for him to feel it. This might be my third rodeo, but it's Kevin's first and that makes it so much more fun.
For now, we are taking it a day at a time, sometimes a moment at a time. But if we will get there. The IV's are dripping and my veins are holding up better than I remember. We are hopeful that the end of April will bring the end of the puking, if not, we will just keep taking it a day at a time. Until then I have June who kisses my forehead and tells me that the baby is just getting stronger and that I will puke and that's OK. (Where she gets such logic with all her dramatic genes I'll never know.)
Cheers to great changes!
love love