a mom.

Today I sit amongst piles of clean smelling laundry listening to the hums of my sleeping daughters. I can't help but keep sneaking into their rooms to watch them sleep. There is a new candle "tiki beach" burning in my kitchen and the smells of summer are overwhelming my senses. This will be the summer of love, the summer of joy, the summer of time. For the first time I get to spend the summer days with the girls. We will work on doing all the things that we haven't been able to do and I get to catch up on the times that I have missed. We are potty training miss Ruby and Stella is writing every letter combination she can find. We are going to plant a garden and keep a clean house. Kevin is no longer in charge of the laundry and I intend to keep my cookie jar as full as possible. We've been invited to play groups and I'm learning to grocery shop with the children again.
I'm a mom again.
I wondered and fretted about leaving the job that provides a paycheck. I wondered how I would fill my time, would I get bored? Would I miss the rewards of a job full of adults? I don't. It was time. The girls need me at home, Kevin needs me at home, I need to be home with them. I need to have a laundry day, and a day where I grocery shop. I need to plan menus and cook meals. I need to play outside with my little ones and teach them how to be little people. It has been a transition and I assume every day will continue to be that way. The girls are learning that I'm not Amilia and that debating your ways out isn't an option. There is treasured nap time and a picnics outside.
I'm starting to feel better, the days are clearer and we are getting things done. This little one inside is growing and I'm feeling more and more pregnant every day. More than anything, I am so grateful to be a mother. To be Stella and Ruby's mother. To have a mother who was such a great example to me, and continues to be. To have Kevin, who is unbelivably supportive of me being their mom.
My cup runith over.
love love