month fifty nine

Oh Miss June,

When did you get so big on me? I wonder if your clothes are shrinking but realize that your arms and legs are growing like the weeds in my garden. Not only are you getting taller you've become so much older, like an adult in a little body. Maybe it's your innate compassion or your motherly instincts but you bear the weight of the world on your shoulders. You are here to please and if there is any hint of disappointment in my voice you crumble. You've taken on the biggest big sister role very seriously and spend your days teaching Ruby all the things she will need to know, whether Ruby wants to learn or not you are going to teach her. Somedays I wonder how I got so lucky to have such a responsible, polite child, but also I feel a little sadden that you feel so much pressure to be perfect. I don't know if its because you are the oldest and that's what older children do or if it's just what you are programed to do. I'm guessing its a little bit of both.

You believe in following the rules and get so irritated at those who don't. We go to gymnastics once a week and a little boy has a hard time following the rules and you get so frustrated, you put your hands on your hips and yell at him. You just want to wait your turn for the balance beam and can't understand why he can't wait like the rest of the class. You are really, really good at gymnastics and I like being able to watch you excel at it. You are strong and very coordinated and constantly want to be better than you were last week. Which basically means you spend your days doing handstands and cartwheels around the house. But it pays off and you notice it. 

You are happy child, oh you are so happy. You're excited for everything we do and are constantly talking. You are talking about this and that and everything in between. You live in your own little world where you make the rules and everyone follows them, it's cute to watch you play pretend. It's where I am able to see inside your world and catch a glimpse at the characters you create. 

Stella, you are so full of love and compassion and enough attitude to keep me awake at night. As your mother, I truly enjoy watching you grow and learn. You can be so many things in this world and I can't wait to see how you'll change the world. 

I love you.

love love

mama