Today

Today is Friday, I think. I'm pretty sure, because I was doing my usual Friday errands, like the dry cleaner and the grocery store. So ya know we can have snacks for the weekend, yay the weekend! And today at the gym, OK fine the county rec center, (doesn't it just sound cooler that I was at the gym than I was at the rec center?) And it was play group Friday, it felt like the whole place was covered in toddlers. Including my own. But I was there first and had been there every day this month, walking my butt around that track trying to keep track of how many laps I had gone. So I can calculate how many miles I walked while pushing my sweet sleeping baby boy. Not to mention the time I spend searching for miss Ruby in the nets of green turf and basketball bleachers. You would think that she is in the herd of other young kids running around with balls and tricycles, but she is not. Never is. She is always by herself playing. She is sometimes playing with the tennis racket, or the football. Sometimes she is making grass angels in the corner. But usually she is in the farthest away court walking on the bleachers talking to herself. Except the one day this month out of the dozens of others, she played with the kids. She ran around and chased after them. She let me speed walk my three miles in peace. I didn't have to convince her to stay in the middle of the track or eat some more snacks. Watching her interact and play with those other kids has never made my heart so happy. Ruby spends her days always with Stella. Regardless of where we are at, she is with Stella. Except at the Rec Center, we go while Stella is at school. And without Stella there to make her play and without me sitting close by, Ruby is forced to figure out what to do with herself. And those moments as a parent, those are the most nerve wracking. You never think that they would be the moments to give you anxiety. I thought I would worry about what they ate, their cleanliness and making sure they see the sunshine. I never thought I would spend three miles walking in a circle praying she would interact with other kids. But she did. She interacted and played all on her own. She shared her snacks and laughed as they chased each other around. And I realized that this parenting business, its not for the birds. It makes me feel like a nervous wreck.  But I am 100% ok with her being an introvert as long as she can be with others when she wants and needs too. So to that, we go to the rec center daily so I can exercise and she can learn to play with others (OK, I go so I can play with others as well, the exercise is just an added bonus).

love love