a walkabout in the trees

Today as I picked up June from school, Ruby and I were waiting on the lawn drinking our drinks, talking about our days. We decided that we needed an adventure; a walkabout have you. We talked about the places we could go and the things we could see. I thought about what was waiting for me at home, just three closets that were half way cleaned out and 8 boxes of little girls clothes that needed sorting. Clearly an adventure with the littles was way more fun than household chores. Those can wait until tomorrow. It didn't take much convincing Stella to go on an adventure with us, but she did request that we get a corn dog on the way home. She was sort of hungry.
We wandered around the back roads, the roads I had forgotten were here in this valley. We spotted yellow leaves, pink leaves, dead leaves and green leaves. We rolled the windows down and let the crisp air whip through our hair. The music was turned up loud and we were singing along.
Then we found a meadow, a secret spot. The light only seem to shine on it and nothing else. And as I watched my girls run around in the ferns and chase the bugs with their new found sticks, I realized this was the reason I quit my job. All summer long I have been waiting for this moment. The moment when we wandered around and relished in the spontaneity of an adventure. I didn't have to miss it because I was in a meeting or working on a project. It wasn't a planned play date or on the schedule. I didn't have to get all my other chores done first. We were there because we could be. Just enjoying the moment.

Part of me has been waiting for this baby to arrive to feel like my presence at home is a requirement, not just a choice. Like my time with the girls was just a sabbatical until he was here. Staying at home isn't just about doing the laundry and cooking dinners, or even snuggling with the girls. It's about those moments in the trees, where the light is shining, the leaves are ten different shades of red and the girls are so happy to be showing me the bugs they found. They will get to remember that we went on a walkabout just because we could.
Motherhood isn't about doing "projects" or coloring, story time or even playdates. Sometimes I let them watch TV all morning long and convince them to jump on the tramp for the afternoon. We eat ramen noodles most days for lunch and rarely do I actually let them help me make cookies. But some days we go on adventures with the windows rolled down, without dads, and we water the rocks because we can and because they have bladders just like mine. To me that is what motherhood is about. Thats the reason we endure pregnancy, child birth and two year olds. So we can have moments in the trees giggling as loud as we can, because why not?

My cup runith over.

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