Love

Tuesday night I was planning on making dinner and enjoying a little movie with Trevor and Stella, but by the time Trevor came home I just didn't feel right. We went to the grocery store and headed off to bed early. I couldn't sleep. Even with a Tylenol PM, I couldn't sleep. There was so much pressure I felt like I couldn't lay down. So I paced. When morning came so did the contractions. They started about 25 minutes apart and just continued to get closer. Finally around 10am I called my mom to tell I was pretty sure I was in labor. I had to make sure I was actually really in labor before sounding alarms, because after I called her, she packed a bag and waited by the door for me to tell her she could come down. I continued to time the contractions as I folded all the laundry, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, showered, blow dried my hair, made the beds and I paced. A lot. By four that afternoon they had gotten pretty painful and close enough I called Trevor and told him to come home. We said goodbye to Stella and headed into the hospital. We got there and I was dilated to a 3, they had me pace for an hour. Lets be honest I wasn't pacing, I was doing the most awkward lunges back and forth in my room. I was not going to be sent home. So I did a few jumping jacks and that sparked a lot of very painful contractions. When the nurse came back, I was at a 4. So we did a few more jumping jacks. 1 Hour later I was a 5 and getting an epidural. Holy cow I was having a baby.
I got settled in and Mr. Epidural Man came and not only did he make my legs very numb he also made my entire left arm numb. His response to this? "Hmm, that sucks." Mr. Epidural man also had hair like Conan. I couldn't look at him straight. The epidural stopped my contractions so we delayed for a little bit, even after upping meds and breaking my water. Around 1am I was at an 8 and had the shakes. Oh man, did I have the shakes. I forgot really how sucky being in labor is. Then before you know it I was breathing and "embracing" as the nurse called those last contractions while we waited for my doctor. He came, I pushed twice and Ruby Maine was here. It is amazing how much easier labor and recovery is when you only push twice. I enjoyed it much more than pushing for 3 hours like I did with Stella.

I have fallen in love with this little girl. True and honest love. I wondered how I would feel being a mother of two and having to share. At this moment, I truly don't care. I am in love with Ruby. All those months of fighting with her have disappeared. I have instantly forgotten about how terrible pregnancy is, because Ruby is this little version of perfection. She looks just like Stella did. But as I stare at Ruby, there is this calm spirit about her. Stella came out with some intensity. There was this force behind Stella. Ruby is dainty and delicate, which results in me staring at her for long periods of time.

Friday night Stella was able to come and visit. We were not really prepared for what this would be like. They had just lifted the ban of children in the hospital that afternoon so we ran to get June. Well, we should have let her wake from her nap and eaten some dinner before we rocked her world with a baby sister. She was very sweet with her, and got very sad when Ruby started to cry. But she knew what do, she shoved the binky in her mouth and gave her a kiss. Hopefully she will continue to love her sister instead of shove raisins up her nose.