She taught the people to dance

I was stumbling through my desktop and computers and all those old photos today and I should probably do that on a more quarterly basis, but whatever. I realized I failed at this blog this year. I didn't blog one of the greatest events of this year, an event that stirred my soul more than I thought. I tried to write it, in fact there were 3 different drafts of it in my blogger. I blame the time of the year, exhaustion, moving, children, work, but mostly the inability to put words to the feelings.
Deb.
Deb turned 50 this year. Can you believe it? You should because it happened in February, and she is nearly 51 now, but we've been over my tardiness. It started in January, the group texting. Late at night Trace started planning this party. A 50th birthday party to put shame on all other parties. One we decided would be full of all the people she loved in one room celebrating her 50 years. Not only would be it fantastic, it would be a surprise. Because surprise parties are just better, right? The best surprise of all? Micall and Travis would fly in for the grand affair and a family ski day would commence beforehand, we would make it a weekend. No grandchildren, great food, ski in and ski out, and fun people all celebrating Deb. There is a lot to be celebrated.
We planned and planned, and I am not joking there was a group text message going back and forth every night for weeks. It was exhausting. The caterers, the invitation, the cake, the presents, a video showcasing all the years of Deb, videos of us wishing her a happy birthday, RSVP lists, and then we broke down. We told her. Tears welled up in her eyes as she was most excited for the ski day. All of her kids, their spouses and Trace racing down the mountain in her name. All racing towards turkey chili and cookies at lunch. All racing towards the show and tell run, all of us laughing and yelling from top to bottom. Her hard work as a parent paying off in spades. Not having just her children there celebrating but having them there loving every minute of each other and skiing real fast.
The food was amazing, and the Diet Cokes were cold. A 20 minute video of all the photos of her life played on a loop and her dearest friends mingled around. Yes a twenty minute video with 250 photos played on all the TV's in the home. And yes, I scanned in all of them and she cried and so did I. Success! The party ended, all her friends went home and we ordered pizza. When you are mingling with people and playing host, dining on prime rib is difficult. But pizza at midnight and the Eagles playing over the speakers while you splash around the hot tub with your family, thats amazing. The perfect way to end a fantastic night.

Pure Bloods

Notice, Trace is waiting for everyone, and Brian is taking care of my goggles. He is a giver.

Mudbloods.

Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday to you...

We spent the weekend together as a family in an amazing home, with amazing views. We stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking, laughing, giving each other shit about something or another. We went to bed exhausted and happy. We skied out the front door and back to the hot tub throughout the day, we watched the snowfall and I realized more than ever I want what my parents have. 25 years from now I want to be up late laughing with my children and their spouses. With my husband curled up next to me and my daughters making sure I am dressed appropriately and sons protecting me. I want my children to like each other. They love each other, and I'm sure if one needed it they would provide a kidney, but I want them to like each other. The way I like my siblings. They are my best friends. I want my kids to like me, to want to hang out with me. I want to be their best friends forever. That's not an easy accomplishment, to have grown children that want to spend time with you and one another all the time. My mom makes that happen for us. She forces us in a room together when we are mad at each other. She "Tracy's" my dad and keeps him in order. She lets us storm out of the house in a tantrum, and will let us stay away and stew while were mad. But always there is something that brings us back together, and it's her. She doesn't let us get to out of control or spend to much time away. She continues to be our friend and our parent. They didn't let us move out and be forgotten. We don't just rally together in times of need. We are there for each other all the time, in any circumstance. Unless there is a powder day, then we might get choosy about the need. Parenting is hard, and there are so many different scenarios and not anyones is the same. But Deb, she nailed being my parent, and I feel pretty safe in saying she nailed it for all of us kids. And I as I look at my littles running around, I want to make sure they are always there running around me, just like Deb does.
Well done Mom, I can't imagine any greater success than being the amazing mom that you are.

love love

a mom.

Today I sit amongst piles of clean smelling laundry listening to the hums of my sleeping daughters. I can't help but keep sneaking into their rooms to watch them sleep. There is a new candle "tiki beach" burning in my kitchen and the smells of summer are overwhelming my senses. This will be the summer of love, the summer of joy, the summer of time. For the first time I get to spend the summer days with the girls. We will work on doing all the things that we haven't been able to do and I get to catch up on the times that I have missed. We are potty training miss Ruby and Stella is writing every letter combination she can find. We are going to plant a garden and keep a clean house. Kevin is no longer in charge of the laundry and I intend to keep my cookie jar as full as possible. We've been invited to play groups and I'm learning to grocery shop with the children again.
I'm a mom again.
I wondered and fretted about leaving the job that provides a paycheck. I wondered how I would fill my time, would I get bored? Would I miss the rewards of a job full of adults? I don't. It was time. The girls need me at home, Kevin needs me at home, I need to be home with them. I need to have a laundry day, and a day where I grocery shop. I need to plan menus and cook meals. I need to play outside with my little ones and teach them how to be little people. It has been a transition and I assume every day will continue to be that way. The girls are learning that I'm not Amilia and that debating your ways out isn't an option. There is treasured nap time and a picnics outside.
I'm starting to feel better, the days are clearer and we are getting things done. This little one inside is growing and I'm feeling more and more pregnant every day. More than anything, I am so grateful to be a mother. To be Stella and Ruby's mother. To have a mother who was such a great example to me, and continues to be. To have Kevin, who is unbelivably supportive of me being their mom.
My cup runith over.
love love

lucky me

The sun is finally shining here. It's the 6th of May and the sun is finally peeking out giving off warmth. It couldn't have come at a better time. I adore the spring time, watching the tulips pop up and feeling energized to actually clean out that junk drawer. Last night as we arrived home from work the sun was warming the grass so the girls ran around and chased bugs and picked dandelions. It was a beautiful moment. A moment where there was sunshine on my face, Ruby was on my lap showing me where her nose was and Stella was literally rolling in the grass. The girls went with their dad shortly after that moment and as I sat on the front porch waiting for my Tall Friend to finish his work day, I missed them. I always miss them, I always wish they were there with me, I always wonder what they are doing and if they are having fun. I know they are having a good time, Stella tells me all about it. But still. Sometimes I wish they could be slightly out of control and exhausting right before they go to spend the weekend with short dad, then I would be ready for a break. That rarely happens. They always say the cutest things, and snuggle right before they leave. I guess it's always best to part on a happy note. As mother's day approaches, a holiday I usually hate, I couldn't help but be so grateful to be their mom. To have not 1 healthy beautiful little girl, but to have 2. How lucky am I? Don't get me wrong, Stella is a full blown three year old who screams to hear herself make noise and doesn't do anything efficiently or quickly. And Ruby has begun the stage of communication by hitting and scratching along with yelling. But yet they are mine. They come running to me when they found a potato bug or when they fall down. They come over with blankets in hand looking to snuggle in the early morning hours. They tell me about their day and ask to make cookies. And when they leave every other weekend, Stella is sure to tell me that she will always come back to me. Always.

 Those are the moments of motherhood, whatever the circumstance or child, that make anyone think they could have 4 more.

Gratefully those moments don't last long.

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
You have some weird shit going on right now and I really wish it would stop. Nobody likes to see somebody ill like that, and I especially don't like it because, well your my mom and I love you as much and sometimes a lot more than my own children. Dad has only made a few nurses cry, and he is on the verge of running around screaming "FIX IT" but he is composed and sick with worry. We all are.
We did all the hard work running around Bondurant, and it was not any fun with out you. I think we should have the boys move all the furniture out to the deck so you can direct traffic again, I didn't do the job justice. I bet for you, they would.They might moan and grumble, but for you they would.
When your all better we are going to have a lot of redo's and I know how much you love to throw a party. So a party it will be! I will make the cake and you will stay coherent for the entire party!! Stella is missing you, and is very curious as to why you are taking so many naps. But I've spun it to a way that she wants to take as many naps, so its actually working in my favor. Tonight when she was saying the prayer over dinner she asked Heavenly Father to bless the glue in your hair, and that you would get better. I'm pretty certain you will get better now, because I mean who turns down a prayer like that? I might have spun the glue scenario my way as well, encouraging her to let me brush her hair without whining so she doesn't end up with hair like yours. I figured if you are going to have electrodes glued to your head I might as well find it as a perk to the morning routine.

We are trying to take care of Dad,  but he's an old dog who doesn't want to learn how to turn on the dishwasher or run the microwave, or all of the other things you does inside the Heber Valley. But on second thought he did go to grocery store so you could have some crackers, even though I forgot them.
You are going to get better, really soon. Probably sooner than you think, because your sense of times these days is a little off. Among other things.We are really glad that you are where you need to be, with geniuses who will figure out all the weirdness.


Love Love
Tehm
P.S.- I will pet Porsche all week for you. Without gloves on. If that isn't love I don't know what is...