Monday, December 31, 2012

She taught the people to dance

I was stumbling through my desktop and computers and all those old photos today and I should probably do that on a more quarterly basis, but whatever. I realized I failed at this blog this year. I didn't blog one of the greatest events of this year, an event that stirred my soul more than I thought. I tried to write it, in fact there were 3 different drafts of it in my blogger. I blame the time of the year, exhaustion, moving, children, work, but mostly the inability to put words to the feelings.
Deb turned 50 this year. Can you believe it? You should because it happened in February, and she is nearly 51 now, but we've been over my tardiness. It started in January, the group texting. Late at night Trace started planning this party. A 50th birthday party to put shame on all other parties. One we decided would be full of all the people she loved in one room celebrating her 50 years. Not only would be it fantastic, it would be a surprise. Because surprise parties are just better, right? The best surprise of all? Micall and Travis would fly in for the grand affair and a family ski day would commence beforehand, we would make it a weekend. No grandchildren, great food, ski in and ski out, and fun people all celebrating Deb. There is a lot to be celebrated.
We planned and planned, and I am not joking there was a group text message going back and forth every night for weeks. It was exhausting. The caterers, the invitation, the cake, the presents, a video showcasing all the years of Deb, videos of us wishing her a happy birthday, RSVP lists, and then we broke down. We told her. Tears welled up in her eyes as she was most excited for the ski day. All of her kids, their spouses and Trace racing down the mountain in her name. All racing towards turkey chili and cookies at lunch. All racing towards the show and tell run, all of us laughing and yelling from top to bottom. Her hard work as a parent paying off in spades. Not having just her children there celebrating but having them there loving every minute of each other and skiing real fast.
The food was amazing, and the Diet Cokes were cold. A 20 minute video of all the photos of her life played on a loop and her dearest friends mingled around. Yes a twenty minute video with 250 photos played on all the TV's in the home. And yes, I scanned in all of them and she cried and so did I. Success! The party ended, all her friends went home and we ordered pizza. When you are mingling with people and playing host, dining on prime rib is difficult. But pizza at midnight and the Eagles playing over the speakers while you splash around the hot tub with your family, thats amazing. The perfect way to end a fantastic night.

Pure Bloods

Notice, Trace is waiting for everyone, and Brian is taking care of my goggles. He is a giver.


Happy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday to you...

We spent the weekend together as a family in an amazing home, with amazing views. We stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking, laughing, giving each other shit about something or another. We went to bed exhausted and happy. We skied out the front door and back to the hot tub throughout the day, we watched the snowfall and I realized more than ever I want what my parents have. 25 years from now I want to be up late laughing with my children and their spouses. With my husband curled up next to me and my daughters making sure I am dressed appropriately and sons protecting me. I want my children to like each other. They love each other, and I'm sure if one needed it they would provide a kidney, but I want them to like each other. The way I like my siblings. They are my best friends. I want my kids to like me, to want to hang out with me. I want to be their best friends forever. That's not an easy accomplishment, to have grown children that want to spend time with you and one another all the time. My mom makes that happen for us. She forces us in a room together when we are mad at each other. She "Tracy's" my dad and keeps him in order. She lets us storm out of the house in a tantrum, and will let us stay away and stew while were mad. But always there is something that brings us back together, and it's her. She doesn't let us get to out of control or spend to much time away. She continues to be our friend and our parent. They didn't let us move out and be forgotten. We don't just rally together in times of need. We are there for each other all the time, in any circumstance. Unless there is a powder day, then we might get choosy about the need. Parenting is hard, and there are so many different scenarios and not anyones is the same. But Deb, she nailed being my parent, and I feel pretty safe in saying she nailed it for all of us kids. And I as I look at my littles running around, I want to make sure they are always there running around me, just like Deb does.
Well done Mom, I can't imagine any greater success than being the amazing mom that you are.

love love


  1. What a great post! Family is so important and your mom is freakin CUTE!

  2. sadie fillmoreDecember 31, 2012

    I love ALL the Tolberts!

  3. Well said, honestly your mother is my hero, she has been for a long long time. Xoxo