a Weekend Ramble

I was writing my little brother an email yesterday and it hit me, I basically wrote the same letter last week. With the same words, the same undertones, and the same rambling on about basically nothing but how busy I feel like I am. How I sort of love it. I'm busy with a to do list, a purpose, a deadline or two. It's not just doing the laundry. Thats a huge win right?
 Last week I put my computer away for most of the week. For genuine fear that I would get flour all over it. I baked and baked and then baked some more. So much that I was genuinely tired of my kitchen. Which is a rare occasion.
I was in my kitchen wearing leggings, making jam with a baby on my hip, a 3 year old singing about being a princess outside, and the windows open with a perfect breeze coming through. My sweet kindergartener was at the table working on her homework talking to herself. I realized I am a mom. I am a mom like my mom was a mom. Except I didn't have any John Denver playing in the background. It felt good. It felt like how I always imagined motherhood would be. When I was done making jam I didn't have anything to put it on, so obviously I made a batch of bread. (who thinks like that?) And when I was done making another massive mess, I sat down on the floor, (because I was too covered in flour to sit on the couch) and curled up with my knitting needles and finished a scarf (My first one!) while my babies chased each other around. I think I should be like 75 years old. I mean seriously.
It was genuinely a happy weekend. Busy with people, and places to go and messes to make. But it was kinda fantastic. It doesn't happen very often that we have people over, go to parties and dinners. Especially in a weekend. And that's ok, I really enjoy just snuggling on the couch with my family. As long as I get to have weekends like this one every now and then it's perfect.

Oh boy do I love the fall.

love love

palette knives and paint brushes.

Today was the day. The day Stella has been talking about for weeks. It was "art day" at Grandma Deb's. She has been practicing with water colors at home and was so ready to paint at Grandma's. The girls woke this morning and promptly put on their aprons and sat patiently waiting for us to go. Seriously. So we put Henry down for a nap and headed to the studio. 

 They started with a little charcoal to sketch out the pumpkins. Ruby was very concerned that they weren't painting actual pumpkins. Even after she discovered the pumpkins were fake. Stella was trying to make her pumpkins exactly as Grandma was painting them.

 Then a paint brush.

 They learned about primary, secondary and tertiary colors, and how to mix them.
Ruby made green. all. by. herself. And Stella made a beautiful shade of orange. What five year old talks like that?

 For Stella, art is a very serious business. It has to be as perfect and as precise as she sees it. And she would like Ruby's to be that way as well. oh my cute little rule follower.

 Chubby little hands smothered in oil paint...

 You can't count yourself as an artist if you don't put your paint brush in your mouth. Stella is an artist, clearly.

 I wanted in on art day as well. But it's not officially fall yet, so I have to refrain from all things pumpkin until then. Monet's poppy fields are better anyway.

There isn't much better than a day at Grandma's. I think thats why we have children, so that one day we can be grandparents.

Plus I might have stolen a few paintings... Thanks Mom!

love love

Some sort of ramble...

There was this one time that I wrote a blog. In fact my editor feed shows that I wrote 4 last week. sort of. I half way wrote them, because I am really good at making half way thoughts. Not full sentences. Who needs full sentences? But is it better to have half sentences or run on sentences? Anyway. While I was trying to make sense of the the nonsense that was going around, you got to look at the bugs that I blogged about weeks ago. Aren't you so lucky??

There are dishes from the pancakes we had for dinner in the sink. I am leaving them there. I went to do them, but then I noticed that there was an unopened box of Captain Crunch in the pantry. And those children of mine don't fully understand the greatness that is the first bowl of Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries. So. Many. Berries. Captain Crunch is way better than doing dishes, plus Kevin is out of town so I can always do them tomorrow.
Kevin has been out of town the last couple of weeks. I am trying not to be bored, but I'm kinda bored. I have been keeping the children busy with water colors. Who knew that was all they needed to entertain themselves for hours. School supplies are in full swing everywhere, and I always stock up. I sort of love school supplies. Like really. I put them in a tupperware with a ream of paper and told the girls they could create whatever they wanted, but they just had to put them all back. I was very clear about putting them back, like those precious school supplies were a privilege to be revoked at any moment. Genius parenting. Stella woke up this morning at 7 and instead of asking to watch Disney, (which she does everyday, even though I never tell her no, she always asks. Obedient child.) She asked to go "create" in the toy room. There she spent the next two hours painting. We are gonna need more paper. A lot more paper. I will happily buy more paper for her to "create" quietly with.
Henry is in full crawling motion. That cute little scoot of his was short lived when he figured out how to be fast, now he is fast. His little knees are nice and callused and his belly is suffering a rug burn from an afternoon without his shirt on. Suns out guns out! But I should have known that it was only a matter of minutes before he would fall down the stairs. Why do kids always always gravitate to the stairs? I saw him heading that way, I made a lunge for it, his chubby little foot slipped right through my hand, and then he tumbled all the way to the bottom. Why do they tumble? Why can't they just slide? It would be a lot less dramatic if they just slid, instead of the rolling from one stair to the next.
Orrr, I could just put a gate up and prevent all of it.
The girls were sent downstairs to clean up their room before we headed out for errands and such. I found them coming up the stairs to tell me it was clean, and me asking if they had put the shoes away, or closed the dresser drawers. Then I finally went down there and took a look. Thats where it happened. I didn't even mean too. The words just spewed out of my mouth, "This is your version of clean, not my version of clean." The very phrase my mother used to tell me and Micall. I didn't even realized that I had said it until I was sorting the laundry a few minutes later and I yelled down to Stella, "I don't do laundry for practice, this sweater is NOT dirty." AGAIN! There I had said the most classic of Deb phrases from my childhood within minutes of each other. I am officially a mom now, I have quoted my mother during morning chores. I am so relieved to finally be a full fledged mom now. It only took 3 kids and nearly 6 years.

Now for some random photos...

The grossest phone call I'll hopefully ever make

You know that article that went around about dating moms? How we moms go through the "dating bases" to find the perfect play date mom friends? It's a brilliant article and couldn't be more true.

Well, here it is the morning after all my months of stay at home mom dating and I'm making that phone call. Ya know the one. Instead of having to call and tell them you have herpa-syphal-aides, you have to tell them your kid has lice. My kid had LICE. 

Bugs.

Crawling.

Hiding. 

Laying eggs. 

Hatching.

Freakin' grossing me out.

There it was Saturday morning, and this house full of sickness, was sleeping in. Kevin had strep. Stella had strep. Henry had bronchitis. Ruby was a ticking time bomb in contracting all of it. Stella was feeling better, her bubble gum medicine had taken care of most of it. Kevin was manning up and just dealing with it. Henry was sleeping it off. I suggested a little pool day with all of us. Mostly with Kevin, because me and three small kids at the pool makes me anxious. I started to gather everything up, but first I grabbed Stella to braid her hair, ya know so I don't have to watch it get in her eyes while she is making cannon balls. She brushed it out first and I grabbed the comb to start braiding. 

Then I saw the first one, a flicker. In and out of her blonde hair. I told her to stay still while I searched for whatever it was in her hair. I couldn't find it, but told Kevin that I needed him to look at something. It couldn't be lice right? How could she have lice? My head started itching with the thought of it.

I kept combing through her hair and found another one. I grabbed the tweezers and pulled it out. There it was. A bug. Crawling in her hair. I rushed to google. I compared my sesame shaped, brown, bug with the one google was showing me. Yep. Lice. 

I started digging more and more into her mop of hair and they were everywhere. Bugs. In her hair. Then I started noticing there were little brown flecks all over. Eggs. There were eggs in her hair. Bugs and Eggs. 

{Insert heebee-geebees. gggggrrrrooooossssss} 

Luckily, thankfully, Stella handled it all perfectly. I pulled a Lice out with tweezers and showed it to her. Explained she had bugs in her hair and we had to get them out, they wouldn't hurt, but that it would take a long time. She smiled and said OK. (What child just says, OK and calmly sits there with a head full of BUGS??!!!!) 

I searched google, called our hair stylists and cancelled all our plans at the pool. The moment I got in the car, heading to purchase large quantities of Lice killer, I lost it. I pulled out of the driveway and just screamed. So gross. SO GROSS. SOOOO GGGRRROOOOSSSSSS.

After two stores, 3 pharmacy's and bags full of rubber gloves, garbage bags, NIX shampoo, apple cider vinegar, a coloring book and a large Diet Coke, I think I was ready. Stella was nearly un-phased by all of it. Which was good, cause well I was freaking out enough for both of us. But just in the car, not in front of her, that would be irresponsible.

The next 5 hours were spent washing her hair, applying the shampoo, rinsing, watching bugs float down the drain and then combing her hair strand by strand with a steel lice comb. With a head lamp, tweezers and a bowl of hot soapy water, I combed. We sat in the bathroom, she watched Netflix on my iPad and I picked, and picked and picked some more. Kevin bagged everything that her sweet little head could have ever touched and its still sitting in the garage, cooking all the bugs away. We washed everything we could think of in hot water and sprayed Lice Killer on nearly everything. Mattresses, headboards, helmets, hats, couch cushions, chairs, blankets, car seats... everything.  Just in case. 

When I finally felt like all the bugs and nits had been eradicated from her hair, I climbed in the shower. I have never scrubbed myself harder in hotter water. I washed my hair 4 times. and I am still certain they are crawling all over me. 

I had to call all my friends and tell them the bad news, tell them to search their children and watch out. Such a great phone call to make, it really helps with making new friends. 

"Hi, I know we played at the park and it was really fun, but my kid has lice, so you wanna go again? no? Yeah, I don't blame you."

Yep, we are that family. The ones that got lice. Freaking LICE. But just Stella did. I keep checking everyone to see if I can find anything, and I haven't yet. Luckily. 

I guess thats what I get for going on vacation for a month, I come home to a kid with a head full of Lice. Maybe it was still worth it, those croissants were pretty amazing. But my inability to sleep because I'm certain there are bugs crawling all over my skin is sort of a bummer. {heee-beeee-geeee-beeeeesssssssss}

--Sorry if your kid has lice, I promise we have killed it all off at our house now. Can I bring you a Diet Coke as a form of my sincerest apologies? ---

love love

The Last

Oh my goodness, how has the time just flown past? Anyone else wondering how it is June 11? But really, seriously? How is already summer? How is my baby brother leaving tomorrow? for 2 whole years? How is Gus already 7.5 months old? And he waves? How is any and all of this possible? Darn you time and always moving forward.
Last week ended up being a whirlwind and I should have know it was going to be that way. I should have been more prepared for it. But I wasn't. And I'm paying the price this week. The month I have been scheduling with Kevin for the last 6 months is now up on the calendar and there isn't a day on it that isn't scribbled on. And by "scheduling it" I mean I have been laying it in front of him telling him all of the things that are going on, on this day and that day and what I need to do for it here and there. All while he smiles and lets my jabbering go in one ear and out the other. Regardless of his retention of my jabbering, it makes me feel better.
We ran away to Tabiona  with some of the Brimhall's on a Wednesday. And as I laid in bed watching the quakies turn gold as the sun rose, I agreed, again, that this stay at home stuff is sometimes pretty awesome. There it was a Wednesday and I had just up and left, and it was ok. I snuck downstairs, made a batch of cinnamon rolls and watched the mountain side welcome the daylight. That Tabiona, regardless of the shenanigans of the quick retreat, is nothing but goodness for my soul.
Unfortunately the girls don't do as well as I would like with a quick trip, in the middle of the week. I go messing with their routines- ya know, lucky charms, jake and the neverland pirates, aerobics, sprinklers under the tramp, jam sandwiches for lunch, a NAP, bike rides and wrestling matches with dad and a chapter before bed. Their life is pretty hard. It's a good thing my soul gets all nice and healed up before coming home, because dealing with a combustable Ruby is exhausting in any and all circumstances.
We came home, did some more laundry, they napped for not long enough and then it was the last weekend with H. Is anyone else tired of saying goodbye? And we haven't even said the last one. He leaves tomorrow morning and I'm sad, and proud. It's the most happy of sads you can have. We spent Friday night at the temple with him. Saturday, I kicked his butt on the golf course (but really) and then we dined out with the peacocks on Saturday night. Sunday the girls snuggled next to him at Stake Conference and then I stood over a pan of frying chicken for dinner. It was loud and chaotic and peaceful at the same time. The way it needed to be.
Now to distract myself from the official looming goodbye I'm gearing up for the next part of the calendar, the part where I'm scheduled out of town until what feels like the middle of July. But really the middle of July. Again, this stay at home life is pretty fantastic. :)

 I swear I wash the "snoopy shirt"

 We take National Donut Day very seriously.

 Look at those cute faces?!

 I beat both of them, at Red Ledges none the less. And now I'm done playing golf. To end on a high note and all.

 Micall, will you come home so Brian can photobomb your pictures?

 Stella asked if Hunter would go get a snow cone so they could say goodbye. She is very sad that they can't FaceTime for two whole years.

Is this one of those posts where you just keeping thinking #firstworldproblems? I am.

love love

Friday Afternoons

How do you spend your Friday afternoons? We gathered up the kids and a lunch and spent the afternoon splashing around the splash pad. It was so fantastic. Great friends, great weather, a cold Diet Coke and napping children when it was all said and done. Henry was a big fan of the small stream of water. And mostly flapping his Popeye arms up and down in excitement. That little boy is pure excitement. 

 

I plan to make a weekly trip to watch the kids splash to their hearts content! Thank you summer for joining us, it's so nice. 

love love

13.1

So it started about two months ago. I had been making new friends and exercising at the same time. We had been spending our mornings at the rec center walking the track, talking about all the things mothers talk about. Then we showed up at an aerobics class, then convinced the teacher to teach it not so early, so we could function at aerobics class. By this time I had decided that I should buy a new sports bra if I was going to really be doing this sort of nonsense. Then Kevin came home and declared he was going to run our friends Half Marathon in May. The one I had sworn I would never do and probably laughed at the concept. I have been plagued with guilt since Kevin and I got married about his running. He was running a lot before we had gotten married and somehow he just didn't anymore once we were husband and wife. Turns out snuggling in the early morning is way more fun than running on the cold pavement. I looked at the course map, I thought about it. I thought about it some more. When I drove past it I thought about it a lot.

Then I declared it to Kevin: I would run the half marathon with him.

It took me 2 more weeks to declare it to the Tolbert's. Because once you commit to them there is no going back. I stressed. I fretted. I had never run more than a mile before, and I hadn't done that since the 7th grade. But slowly I did it. I ran a mile, then I ran two and three and four. Always surprising myself that I could do it. On Saturday's we would bundle up the children and run with them. Ruby would cheer us on and Stella would ride her bike next to me. I would talk to my sister and she would laugh out loud every single time I would tell her about it. Even last week she laughed at me. I know it's a hard image to picture, me running. My dad constantly asked, WHY? My brothers were surprisingly really supportive and offered lots of tips, I mean Brian did invent indian running so naturally he was helpful. But Kevin, Kevin never lost faith in me. He never laughed and when I would get so worked up with nerves about it, because I have a tendency to stress and obsess about things, he just smiled and said you know you can do it. You'll take it one mile at a time. He's so logical.

On Saturday we woke up at 3:30 in the morning and headed down the canyon. I was worried about if I had enough clothes on or too many and if I would pee my pants. That usually happens while running. I was nervous I wouldn't eat the right things and I would take the wrong gel and I'd throw up. That had happened before too. I had never crossed the finish line of anything before. Ever. I had watched my siblings push themselves harder than I could have ever imagined and cross the finish. I had watched Kevin train and put in the hours and cross that line with a big smile on his face. But I never had. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know how to handle the nerves and the adrenaline. But just like Kevin does in every aspect of my life, he calmed my nerves and kissed my lips.

I had set a goal. I was going to run a half marathon. And I wanted to run it faster than a ten minute mile.  I took it a half mile at a time, and I felt really good until about mile 10. Then I felt really tired. Because ten miles is pretty far. I guess the good part about running is that it's just one foot in front of the other. And that's what I did those last few miles. Cami and Marc with Gus cheered me on and her cute pregnant belly ran a block with me while I was gritting out the last mile. My parents were there cheering at the finish line. At a marathon finish line, they were there! I finished! I ran a half marathon. And I did it faster than a ten minute mile. (!!!) Probably my biggest accomplishment yet. Because I didn't have to do it. I did it because I wanted to, I wanted to push myself. I wanted to cross that line because it was hard, and I had worked for it. I did it for my girls, to show them that they can be strong. I did it for my family, because I said I would. But mostly I did it because Kevin knew and believed that I could.
Shortly after I got my legs back and was breathing normal, Kevin finished must faster than any other half marathon he had done before. And of course he was smiling.

//We huddled around campfires for an hour before the start, I smelled amazing//

 //We even watched the sunrise before running to breakfast//

 //Let's say it was real early and real real cold at the start...//

//I finished!//

// I ran the finish line twice, I liked it so much. Once on my own, then when Kevin came through.//

 //I wish the girls could have been there to watch, but Gus cheered for them.//

The best part? I didn't even pee my pants.
I know right?!

love love