War

Stella and I are at war. It's miserable. What's most miserable is that I think Stella is winning. When someone asks how my day was and I reply "I only tried to stab my left eye out today" you knows its been a relatively good day.
I am not sure if someone has turned a lights witch on and she remembered that she's two and a half; or if the distress of the last 5 months has finally started to expose itself, I'll never know. What I do know is I have no idea how to reign her back in and save my sanity. She has attitude like you wouldn't believe. She is emotionally on the edge all time, at any given moment a tantrum over not getting what she wants can occur. She isn't afraid of any punishment I threaten or give her. Tonight at dinner Grandpa Trace had had enough of her constant disregard for what I had to say and took her out of the restaurant. As he carried her out he tried to talk to her about how she needs to be nice. Her reply was "I know, but my cowboy boot is falling off, fix it." After another episode because her Chinese food was not there soon enough I took her outside per my threat. We got outside and I told her that if she was going to act this way then we wouldn't be able to eat and we'd have to go home to bed. Her reply, "I'll stay here, you go eat. Go now, Mom. Leave me here, I'll have timeout right here without you." The scene then lead to me buckling her in her car seat and leaving her, as I closed the door she said, "Save me some noodles."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
The events of this evenings trip to dinner are nothing new. This has been going on for a couple of weeks now. I am so worn out I don't know where or how to put it all back together. We have time outs and I take away things she wants to do, and 99% I make good on the threats I pose. But she doesn't care about any of it. I have tried positive reinforcement by having special art time, where we sit down and color or paint. I have tried to bake cookies with her, or swimming outside. I have tried to reward her good behavior with special me and Stella time. Nothing. NOTHING is working. I got a "good reward chart" and we were talking about it and how it works. If she is good at all the things she will then get to put a happy magnet next to it. If she fills up all the magnets then we get to have an extra fun surprise. She looked at me and said "Can't I just put all the magnets up right now and not take a bath and or be nice to Ruby?"
In addition to the insane attitude and respect issues she now is starting to lie. Before if she did something wrong she would tell you. "Stella what did you do to make Finley cry?" "I bit her with all of my teeth on her arm, but then she pulled my hair." Now that conversation goes like this: "Why did you just kick Ruby in the head with your cowboy boot?" "MOM, I didn't kick Ruby in the head with my cowboy BOOT." Knowing very well that I had watched her kick Ruby.
According to pretty school, Stella has continued to be a dream child. She only really cries if she falls down, and no attitude issues to speak of. When my mom watched her a couple of weeks ago she was as good as gold until I walked in then a complete brat appeared.
I'm tired. Like worn out exhausted kind of tired. I had had enough of Stella last Wednesday, so the moment the clock struck 5:00pm I loaded the girls up to take them to Grandma Deb's for rescue. My dad wanted to know why I had such a "hang dog look" upon arrival. An hour after being with Stella he understood. He quietly retreated to his bedroom away from it all until we were leaving.
I'm hoping Stella gets this figured out soon and that we have a breakthrough, because I don't think I can continue to just shoot to survive until bedtime. She really used to be such a fun kid, exhausting in happy ways, now when I ask "what happened to my sweet Stella?" She responds with "She must have gone on an airplane with Grandpa Trace." I guess all we can do is keep praying for patience and sanity, and hopefully Stella will grow out of it before Ruby grows into it.

Please Stella grow out of it soon, or at least throw in a happy peaceful moment a little more often.

And yes, I am aware that I am probably getting exactly what I deserve. But my Mom was much stronger than I am.