month forty-five

Oh June Bug,
You are nearly four years old! Can you believe that? I can't. It seems so strange that you are getting so old on me. You are still pretty funny and are such the caretaker, but very much so my child. You are fesity. You are opinionated. You are demanding. You are a whiner from time to time. You are always on the go. You talk non stop. Yes June, I'm sure one day you will get a child just like you and there will be justice, but for now, I'm getting exactly what I deserve. The older you get it feels like you are more just my little friend, and not just my first born. We talk about things and you ask a million questions and you are so happy to help me out. When I can send you on an errand upstairs or downstairs you are so eager to help me. Unless it's making your bed. Then you tell me "No" and we have an argument over who is in charge basically. And as I'm typing this I'm realizing, why am I arguing with my 3 year old over who is right, I am always right when it comes to making the bed and nap time? See, I don't really know what I am doing as your mother some times, so thank you for helping me out.

You gave a talk in Primary last week and it was the cutest thing ever. I was a little stressed about it, wanting to make sure you had all the appropriate pictures and that it was cute, and that you would be able to say it. So we colored the pictures about how your body is like a temple. We worked on it all morning long and you were ready. You weren't nervous at all until you stood up to the microphone and waved your one finger at your dad who was in the back with his primary class. You clenched onto the microphone like all kids do and I said the first few lines then you warmed up and finished it. It was a classic Sunbeam in primary talk, and I loved it!

You had a nightmare last week that a bird came into your room and picked up and flew around the room and dropped you back in bed. You came rushing into my room around 3am and were terrified. You were so certain that the bird was still flying around your room. We turned on all the lights as you clenched your little body to mine and we examined every part of your room. We looked under the bed, in the closet and the dresser drawers. Once you were convinced that the bird was just a terrible dream you looked up at me with those blue eyes and asked me to stay with you for a while. I did. You slept in my arms, holding onto my neck until morning. Those moments are the ones that I treasure being your mother; when I get to rescue you, and protect you. When you get an owie you don't always run to me. You have a lot of people in your life that love you, that would do anything for you. But I'm your Mom. I'm the one you run to when the bird is flying around your dreams. I am so happy I get to be there for you. That you run to me, that you tell me everything, and ask me all those questions, (even though are way to many). I hope that through out our lives you run to me. That we get to be best friends forever. 

I love you Stella June.
love love
mom