Letter one

Dear Ruby,

I need you to come out of me sooner than later. I know that there will be a time when I wish you were back inside safely contained, but I can't handle being pregnant any more. For the last 38 weeks you have been trying to kill me. From the beginning when you made me so terribly sick, remember that? Remember when I was hooked up to IVs for weeks and weeks but I was still puking my face off? I do and it was miserable. Remember when I started to feel better and then I gained all the allotted pregnancy weight in 8 weeks time and I didn't look like I was 6 months pregnant, I just looked like I really enjoyed french fries? I do. It wasn't fun. Remember all those times I peed my pants? I know that your not completely to blame on that one, my bladder was weak to start with; but you do jump on it a lot. This pregnancy has made me much more unstable than normal. It has sent my emotions into complete overdrive and I can't figure out how to control them anymore. I don't really like that part much. I feel like I need to curl up in a ball in my closet to pretend like I can get through this.
I need you to come out so I can remember why I have spent the last 38 weeks enduring this roller coaster. I need you out of my body so I can fall in love with your smashed newborn face. There are so many things I can't wait to show you; like your new cupcake blanket that Stella picked out for you. Or my new camera, which you will be well acquainted with before you are an hour old I'm sure of. I can't wait to show you how to make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world and how to wrap your grandpa's around your tiny little fingers. Your dad is so excited to feel you have the hiccups instead of me just telling him you have the hiccups; I don't think he believes me. Your big sister is anxiously awaiting your arrival, she will probably smother you with all of her love before to long and you will tremble when you hear her approaching; but I promise she means well.
I love you, you little alien inside of me. I will forgive you for trying to kill me for the last 9 months, but I promise to remind you of it weeks before mothers day every single year.

Love Love