A Change of Season

It finally feels like fall now. The air is cold and crisp. The sky is grey with storm clouds brewing. The leaves are almost done changing and the tips on the mountains are dusted in white. I couldn't be more thrilled with this change in season. As the cold air moved in, it was almost like I started to feel like a new person. Like the haze of the summer heat and divorce battle was actually gone. It ended the end of August, but the pain of it all seems to be gone. Parties are being planned and dinners are actually being made. We have rythym of our days, I am good at killing spiders and mowing the lawn. The girls seem to have adjusted to this new life, and well I'm happy. Not the kind of happy after you just found the greatest new sweater at JCrew happy. But the kind of happy where you fall asleep peaceful and wake up with the energy to do everything. Where you shower and get dressed just because. I shop at the social grocery store because I'm not afraid to run into everybody anymore. I don't dread sitting on the back row bench at church without my girls and actually relax on the weekends that they are with their dad. He and I don't fight anymore, we are civil. I don't get anxious when we make the exchange. When the house goes dark and the girls fall asleep and I'm all alone, its not sad. I curl up with a book and shut off my computers and just enjoy the peace of it all. I didn't ever think I would revel in the peace and quiet of the dark, but I do. Sometimes I even go to bed early, not usually, but sometimes.
Aside from my girls, every aspect of my life is different. My home, my wardrobe, the bed I sleep in. The ward, my church calling, my address and all the furniture. Every single change has been for a better scenario. I couldn't be happier. Life with just me and the girls isn't what I ever thought postcards were made of, I never as a little girl imagined this is where I would be. But now that I am here, it is exactly what postcards are made of. We make cookies, and go on walks. We have dance parties after bath time and snuggle in for stories. We make breakfast and talk about the day ahead of us. The peace and happiness is exactly what I imagined life would be like.

My cup runith over.

Love Love