Friday, February 5, 2010

Picking up the pieces

How is it that pregnancy causes time to stand still but a newborn sends it into overdrive? I can't believe Ruby is a week old! Baby number two makes you realize how easy you had it with baby number one. A newborn is easy! They sleep, they eat, they poop. You don't sleep much , but there is Diet Coke to help that. Stella has been my challenge this week. She is very much so in love with her baby sister, just not me. She is very mad at me. We are having irrational tantrums multiple times a day. She ignores me. Which leads to me counting to 3 to get her to do anything, or stop doing whatever she is doing. For instances, Trevor had gone to work and Stella was downstairs watching her morning Sesame Street while Ruby and I were trying to wake up. Stella came in and found a bottle of body wash in Ruby's diaper basket. She proceeded to open it and dump it all over her hands. When I grabbed it from her and told her to stop, she yelled NO at me and then went into hysterics so painful to my chest it brought tears to my eyes. I flicked Stella's arm, yes I flicked her, and sent her to her room I heard her walking down the hall. I didn't really care because the farther away the cry was coming from the less painful it was. Then I heard the back door open and slam shut. I then scrambled around looking for my slippers because she of course has taken off down the street. I get to the back door and there she sits on the back step with the biggest alligator tears, "I wanna go find daddy, but I don't have any shoes on." I picked her up and snuggled her in the rocking chair until her feet were warm again. The whole time I rocked her, all I could think was I am getting exactly what I deserve.
When Ruby is awake, it sends Stella into overdrive. She doesn't stop running around or screeching. Stella isn't normally like that at home, in her element with just me. I guess Ruby has destroyed her element and she is trying to put it back together. This morning she came into bed with us around 6am, way to early for her to be awake. When she didn't bring the right blanket with her a massive hysterics ensued. While Trevor was trying to talk her out of it, telling her to share his, or that she already had one, or to drink her milk. I got exhausted with the negotiations, because she was SCREAMING. AT 6AM. I picked her up out of our bed and sent her to go find THE RIGHT BLANKET. The girl has 400 blankets, and not one of them is any more loved than the other. Hence the reason I had to purchase all new blankets for Ruby, knowing Stella wasn't going to give up any of hers. So Stella went downstairs crying the whole way, and I followed her wondering where this special blanket was hidden. When she got to the bottom of the stairs and stared around, "The blankie isn't here Mommy." NO KIDDING. (I don't do really well at 6am...) I went into the laundry room and found a blanket I had washed and miraculously it was the right blanket. Tantrum solved. Of course, Ruby was now awake with all the commotion and nobody was going back to bed anytime soon.
I am hoping that in the next weeks Stella normalizes and decides to like me again. She still really loves Trevor and does what he asks her, and when she isn't fighting at me she is loving Ruby. She wants to hold her, kiss her, and feed her; she lets me do the burping though. When she wakes in the morning at a normal time, she asks for Ruby first thing. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks I will stabilize with Stella, regain my patience for a two year old and we will be friends again.

It's a good thing Stella has moments like these to make me realize she will settle back into routine...

Love Love


  1. The first 6 weeks is so miserable with a 2 year old and a newborn. I was going nuts! It gets a lot better, just hold out for 5 more weeks!

  2. Your girls are so cute! Things will settle back down and a new routine will come about.

    It was so fun to see you guys on Friday! "I have to go find Daddy now but I'll come back and see you soon!" Ahh, Stella is such a sweetheart!

  3. I really appreciate your honesty. I am just going to have to try to brace myself for what's to come...good luck with normalization!

  4. I am sorry. I don't know what to say except, take everything one day at a time, and try to show more love to Stella than you think she needs! I can't even tell you how many times I just grabbed Aliya held her and cried. I will see you tomorrow and hopefully Stella will like to play with Aliya!